The Dating Corollary: Stop Trying To Change Me
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), in the first follow up (and you read that one too, right? No? Go read it over here), then in the next one about counter-offers over here, and we even covered how to handle a break up over here…we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
You want to see exasperation and annoyance? Look into the eyes of a guy as his wife, girlfriend, significant other or whatever hands him a shirt and says “Here, I bought this for you, I think it’ll look great on you.”
It’s the look that says: “You knew who I was when you met me, dammit. I don’t wear plaid. Sweater vests cause me to break out in hives if they come within six inches of my skin. The closest I’ve come to salsa dancing is watching Lambada: The Forbidden Dance back in 1990.”
And, of course the underlying message: Stop trying to change me…
The Dating Corollary: Breakup Netiquette
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), in the first follow up (and you read that one too, right? No? Go read it over here), and then in the next one about counter-offers over here, we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
Let’s rip the band-aid off quickly and get right to the nasty.
Break ups.
Break ups suck.
But the way you handle it will have lasting repercussions on you…
The Dating Corollary: I Can Change and Other Lies
You did it.
You’ve finally had enough.
You’re pulling the trigger, and you’re ending the relationship.
You’ve finally realized that the grass really is greener over on the other side of that fence, and so it’s time to make a change.
Maybe you didn’t even mean for it to happen this way. Maybe you just randomly met someone in a bar one night, and one thing led to another and now you’ve realized that you’ll be happier with them than you’ll ever be in your current relationship.
And then…when you drop the hammer…it starts. “Things can change”, “things can be better”, “things can be different”, “what would it take to keep you?”
[sigh] Hold firm, cowboy. Nobody said break ups were easy…
The Dating Corollary: Desperation and Jealousy
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
Like when you thought you really had a strong connection.
You had an awesome conversation.
You had what they were looking for. They had what you were looking for.
It all seemed to be going so well.
This might even be…could it be…The One?
But then, when you came back from that quick trip to the bathroom…they had that same look in their eyes…but they were talking to someone else…
The Dating Corollary – An Introduction
You’ve been alone for too long. The last one ended horribly, when you found out that you valued and needed them far more than they apparently thought they valued and needed you. Oh, you got the “it’s not you, it’s just not the right time” speech….but that’s really not much of a consolation, is it?
Your friends who still have things together…sure, they’ve tried to set you up, but those have just been disasters.
It’s gotten bad. You spend way too much time sitting on the couch watching horrible television shows. Lately, you’ve taken into calling that number once a week…just to get any sense of self-validation and so that you can to get by…but you always feel guilty after each call, and each session takes another piece of your self-worth away.
But now you’ve heard about this place where you can go and meet people…some who are facing the same things you are…and maybe someone who’ll pull you out of your misery.
So maybe…maybe…tonight’s the night. You’re finally getting out of the house, and it’s time to get out there and meet someone…
Lessons From A Child’s Toy 2: Learn Harder
I’ve already done “electric boogaloo”, so yes, it had to be that title.
Almost three years ago now, as we were coming up on our first Pink Slip Party, I wrote “Lessons From a Child’s Toy” about some lessons I learned one bleary-eyed morning during a hazardous encounter between my feet and some colorful wooden blocks.
At the time, the job market was deplorable. The whole reason for that first Pink Slip Party was because people were dying for face time with recruiters, and so we figured we’d try to help. With the market as bad as it was, people were trying anything to get a job, including cramming themselves into positions that were a terrible fit for both them and the company.
Well now, three years later…another children’s toy…and another set of lessons…
The Bachelor Party Hypothesis
By now, you’ve read our entries in the Networking Basics category, and even a few of the How Not To Suck realm.
You’ve probably started to build up a network of your own.
Well, now I’m going to tell you how to properly categorize and inventory network, so that you can take stock of where you are in the process and figure out where you need to be tweaking things to make sure you get where you want to be.
And also why we keep harping on the whole “LION” thing and why “open networking” doesn’t help you.
At all…
The Jersey Initiative
No, this has nothing to do with gym, tan and laundry.
Nor does a pregnant ewok named Snooki factor into the equation in any capacity.
What it does have to deal with is something that I do when I go somewhere unfamiliar to me, and something that I guess I was doing subconsciously.
But now that I’ve thought about it…maybe this networking thing really does come naturally to me after all…and maybe there’s a lesson in here for you somewhere.
How Not To Suck At LinkedIn
Continuing our (relatively new) tradition of helping you not suck, we now move into How Not To Suck At LinkedIn.
We’ll take a look at some of the key areas that cause people to suck at LinkedIn – the profile, groups, statuses, various applications…and hopefully help to keep you from being one of those people who can’t figure out why they don’t have any quality professional connections.
Ready?
Let’s get started…
Don’t Be That Guy – The Angry Birds Edition
I have an extremely addictive personality.
I know this comes as no surprise to any of you that have spent any time around me at all. I’m simply physically, or mentally, incapable of doing something half-assed.
Everything becomes an obsession…a compulsion…especially games…but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, right? Right.
So it shouldn’t come as too much of a shocker that I’m going to use Angry Birds for my next set of analogies when it comes to That Guy and networking events…
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