Don’t Be That Guy: Klout Score Guy
I’m just going to go ahead and get this out of the way – yeah, I joined Klout. Yeah, I still have an account.
But no, I don’t give a rat’s ass what my “klout score” is. In fact, up until the other day when I read a few articles about Klout that annoyed the hell out of me (and triggered this entry), I hadn’t logged in…oh, probably in over a month or two. Long enough that it had lost the association to my Facebook account and I had to re-authorize it and a few others. Why hadn’t I logged in for so long? Because I quickly realized how ridiculous it was. Why do I need some random third-party to keep score for me?
In fact, now that I’ve read those articles in the past few days, I care even less about it…but there are those who apparently live and die by it, and now companies are starting to pay attention to it, and I want to throatpunch all of them.
Especially Klout Score Guy…
The Dating Corollary: “It’s Not You, It’s Me” (hint: it’s you)
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), in the first follow up (and you read that one too, right? No? Go read it over here), then in the next one about counter-offers over here, and we even covered how to handle a break up over here, and why you can’t change people over there…we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
Now yes, we’ve already talked about break ups…but now we’re going to talk about a specific situation in a break up.
Because when you hear “It’s not you…it’s me”, you’re getting politely lied to.
It’s you.
Trust me…it’s you…
Bad Resume Guy 2: Is It Me You’re Looking For?
“So this SEO guy walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, night club, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor, shots, booze…”
You read Bad Resume Guy and took the advice in it.
You’ve got multiple versions of your resume at the ready.
You think you’re all set, but you’re not getting the responses or the traction with it that you hoped you would.
I guess it’s time to talk about Search Engine Optimization, because it’s not just for websites folks…
The Dating Corollary: Stop Trying To Change Me
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), in the first follow up (and you read that one too, right? No? Go read it over here), then in the next one about counter-offers over here, and we even covered how to handle a break up over here…we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
You want to see exasperation and annoyance? Look into the eyes of a guy as his wife, girlfriend, significant other or whatever hands him a shirt and says “Here, I bought this for you, I think it’ll look great on you.”
It’s the look that says: “You knew who I was when you met me, dammit. I don’t wear plaid. Sweater vests cause me to break out in hives if they come within six inches of my skin. The closest I’ve come to salsa dancing is watching Lambada: The Forbidden Dance back in 1990.”
And, of course the underlying message: Stop trying to change me…
The Dating Corollary: Breakup Netiquette
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), in the first follow up (and you read that one too, right? No? Go read it over here), and then in the next one about counter-offers over here, we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
Let’s rip the band-aid off quickly and get right to the nasty.
Break ups.
Break ups suck.
But the way you handle it will have lasting repercussions on you…
Don’t Be That Guy – The Social Marketer Who Cried Wolf
“If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.” – Martin Blank
The title of this was given to me from a good friend of mine Mike who has literally been sick to his stomach at a few of his friends on how they are handling their social media lives.
Initially, they started as $20 Social Media class guy…
Got a few stupid ideas…
Then basically followed the How Not To Suck at Facebook in reverse…
And lo and behold, you have “The Social Marketer Who Cried Wolf”. Below I will go into detail on a few of my favorites…
The Used Car Salesman
I think I’ve finally figured out what we are.
Sure, there have been the eHarmony and Match.com of IT jokes….but what we really are is just what the Information Technology industry needs…JOBFAX!
After all, the used car industry has CARFAX, to tell you the real story about the car that you’re looking to buy so that you don’t have to rely on the word of the skeevy guy in a bad suit trying to sell you that five year old Mustang.
“No, it wasn’t in New Orleans when Katrina hit”, “No, it’s never been in an accident and nearly totaled”, “No, it wasn’t shot up in a drive by in South Central”.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get the real deal on that job the recruiter has lined up for you…
The Dating Corollary: I Can Change and Other Lies
You did it.
You’ve finally had enough.
You’re pulling the trigger, and you’re ending the relationship.
You’ve finally realized that the grass really is greener over on the other side of that fence, and so it’s time to make a change.
Maybe you didn’t even mean for it to happen this way. Maybe you just randomly met someone in a bar one night, and one thing led to another and now you’ve realized that you’ll be happier with them than you’ll ever be in your current relationship.
And then…when you drop the hammer…it starts. “Things can change”, “things can be better”, “things can be different”, “what would it take to keep you?”
[sigh] Hold firm, cowboy. Nobody said break ups were easy…
The Dating Corollary: Desperation and Jealousy
As mentioned in the introduction (and you read the introduction, right? No? Go read it over here), we’re going to chat about some of the similarities between the wild world of dating, looking for a job, hiring someone, and just networking in general.
Like when you thought you really had a strong connection.
You had an awesome conversation.
You had what they were looking for. They had what you were looking for.
It all seemed to be going so well.
This might even be…could it be…The One?
But then, when you came back from that quick trip to the bathroom…they had that same look in their eyes…but they were talking to someone else…
The Dating Corollary – An Introduction
You’ve been alone for too long. The last one ended horribly, when you found out that you valued and needed them far more than they apparently thought they valued and needed you. Oh, you got the “it’s not you, it’s just not the right time” speech….but that’s really not much of a consolation, is it?
Your friends who still have things together…sure, they’ve tried to set you up, but those have just been disasters.
It’s gotten bad. You spend way too much time sitting on the couch watching horrible television shows. Lately, you’ve taken into calling that number once a week…just to get any sense of self-validation and so that you can to get by…but you always feel guilty after each call, and each session takes another piece of your self-worth away.
But now you’ve heard about this place where you can go and meet people…some who are facing the same things you are…and maybe someone who’ll pull you out of your misery.
So maybe…maybe…tonight’s the night. You’re finally getting out of the house, and it’s time to get out there and meet someone…
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